Lucas - The Prince of Darkness

[CalAltaDubber]

I have been teasing British car owners for years about the "Legendary Reliability" (or the lack there of) their cars have. This came from a Land Rover owner in Australia.

Lucas (Land Rover) Truths

• Not many people know that Land Rovers attempted to market a computer. Why did they stop? They could not find a way to get it to leak oil!

• A Land Rover doesn’t leak oil, it marks it’s territory.

• Did you hear about the man whose Land Rover didn't leak oil? The factory took it back and worked on it until it did.

• Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night? They all look the same. “- "He replied, "It does not matter which one you use, nothing happens!"

• The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."

• Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.

• Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.

• Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

• The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker and Off.

• The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.

• Lucas is an acronym for Loose Unsoldered Connections and Splices
• A Lucas system actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency.

• "I have had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never had any trou..."

• If Lucas made guns, wars would not start.

• A friend of mine told everybody he never had any electric problems with his Lucas equipment. Today he lives in the countryside, in a large manor with lots of friendly servants around him an an occasional ice cold shower...

• Back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck.

• Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators

• Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone. Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.

• Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times clockwise around your car chanting:" Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant.."

[Briano1234]

Well, I have to agree to a point, what having 3 different Lucas wired cars in my youth. 58 Bug-eye, 67 MG Midget, 72 Rover 3500S so I am well aquainted with Lucas.

But I never got stranded and I never lost a fuse.

Lucas in thier wisdom on the Early Healey's and MG's had 2 fuses, one forthe engine, and one for everything else. The wires were protection for the fuses so that the wires would melt to protect the fuse.

Soooooooooo.......... The British roadster needed more TLC than our rabbits. You have to be diligent on the Maintenance. Every other Saturday you adjusted the valves, checked the timing.


On a side note. The tach was mechanically driven off the Generator, and the oil pressure and water temp gauge actually were mechanical..........

[CalAltaDubber]

But I never got stranded and I never lost a fuse.

Lucas in thier wisdom on the Early Healey's and MG's had 2 fuses, one forthe engine, and one for everything else. The wires were protection for the fuses so that the wires would melt to protect the fuse.

Brian, you must be well aquainted with the "Smoke" Therory of electrical components.

That is when electrical components are manufactured they are filled with smoke (this includes wire, resistors, inductors, transistors, and just about every component made for electronic use). These components need the smoke to operate. When they fail an amount of smoke escapes. The more smoke that gets out - the more expensive it will be to repair. Hense the term "Tuned for maximum smoke". Of course if all the smoke gets out, the component will probably be red hot or just plane burn up.

By the sound of your description you may never have blown a fuse, but it sounds like you did have a bit of smoke to deal with

[87Wolfsburg]

I used to own a 1983 Land Rover 88 series III station wagon . It leaked oil everywhere, but just kept on running. With its Lucas ignition it would always run out of tune, I finally converted it with a Petronix electronic ignition conversion, with an optical pickup. It finally ran pretty good, but it just didn't feel original anymore. All other electrical issues where OK, never had a problem. It had weak transmissions and I sometimes broke a rear axle, when off-roading it. I think this is where I acquired a taste for problematic vehicles with plenty of character. When I got back here in the U.S., I got a 1985 Cabriolet to start in 1999, took a break for several years and now the 1987 Cabby.